Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Jackie - I'm Shaking the Dust

I'm busier or more over-committed than I have ever been and that's why I decided to be a part of this blog. I'll explain.

I'm what some people might call a little bit of a late bloomer. It's not that I've been totally lost all this time, it's just that I've been having a hard time figuring out which is the right path and then staying on that path. Much to my chagrin, I have what you might call a little bit of a meandering problem. And this all started long ago.

As a kid, when people would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up I used to have a lot of answers - a doctor, an artist, a teacher, a nurse and a musician - and I meant to do them all at the same time. I couldn't figure out then and I still have a hard time comprehending why I can't do all those things. Honestly, I think I'd be pretty good at all of them. [Well, the artist part might be a little bit of a stretch.]

When it came down to it and I had to pick a major, I saw two choices: medicine or music. I chose music. Then there was a series of unfortunate events, [I can get into that another day.] and the whole thing got a little convoluted, confusing and cloudy. I lost track of what I wanted and where I was going. And the years flew by much faster than I could keep up with. So here I am, what feels late in the game, trying to follow my dream.

And that's why I'm a part of this blog.

Because life seems like it's screaming past me faster than I can even see. Because years keep coming and going. Because less and less seems to be keeping me going toward my goals. Because my age is catching up with me. Because I get distracted easily.

It's not that I've never had goals or dreams, but it seems like everyone else is better about reaching their goals and staying focused. So I've made some decisions recently about being more intentional about what I want to do and I'm putting in the hard work to pursue those goals. And it is hard work. I'm working two jobs, going to school full-time, being a good auntie, taking piano lessons and keeping up with all of my other commitments. So yes, in this craziest seasons of life, I added one more thing. I decided to make my journey public. And I did so in hopes that it would help me be more conscious about life and intentional about each day; in hopes that someone would resonate with my journey; in hopes that I might inspire someone else to stick to stay on their path, even when it would be nice to stop awhile and look around because stopping to smell the flowers is nice, but sometimes it's nice to get where we're going.

And this year in particular, I feel open. I feel open to new people, to redefining, to changing pace. The timing seems perfect.

Thanks for joining me.


1 comment:

  1. Ladies, Just read through the posts so far and can't tell you how much I resonate with the fear to try, the days and years flying by, the questions of faith that seem too big to delve into. Thanks for the honesty. I'm a little more ready to deal with my own box of stuff, knowing you are too.
    Alex Kuykendall


Shake the dust off that keyboard and type us something pretty.