I think people are the single most amazing gift God has placed in my life. I have friends from the earliest part of my childhood that I still get excited to chat with on the phone. They understand that deeper part of my heart, of my personality, that most don't. For some reason, it's that human connection that gets me through the day sometimes.
I recently took a personality test at work. Our CFO wanted to see how each of us on staff related to one another. I classified as a "Guardian", which means I'm socially adept, love to care for others and am a leader in group situations. Many guardians are presidents of the local community board, leaders in their churches, on their sports teams and in the school PTA. They love to organize functions and be in the lime light. This definitely describes me... In college I was president of my campuses music business club, ridiculously talkative in a cappella ensemble (or any class for that matter), constantly organizing parties, working a job and internship simultaneously or talking on the phone with someone across the country I couldn't readily grab a drink with. But the description in the personality test booklet also reveals a downside of the ever sociable nurturer. It states, "sometimes may be sociable to their detriment".
Towards the end of my college career I was so connected, constantly networking and always a part of some sort of social function... I started to feel worn thin. I always had to be with someone. I, secretly, didn't know who I was without people. And then I moved to LA... where I lived with my brother who worked odd hours at a hospital and my close friends from a previous internship lived 45 minutes away. I was suddenly forced to be alone. It was scary yet invigorating. I learned to be ok with praying for hours on end, connecting deeply to my soul and even going out on dates by myself. When I decided to move back to Denver I made it a conscious effort to reconnect with those people I felt truly cared about me as a person... not people I randomly had classes with, would sip a beer with at a party or run into at a show. I wanted to focus my energy on relationships that truly meant something.
Since then I've had some great reconnections, made deep loving relationships and have had wonderful new people enter into my life. But at the same time, I've maintained that connection with myself which is the most important part. Because how can I maintain all of these relationships and give the way I should if I don't know who I am to begin with? I want this wonderful path to continue throughout 2010, all with a focus and commitment to who I am and who I need to be in others lives.