Sarah and the Art of Counting Down

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Things I like about the gym: The steam room (even the old men that frequent it.  Those guys are punchy), the hot tub, unlimited hot water in the showers, lot's of counter space for getting ready, Willa- the 80 year old artist that shares that counter space with me, and the guy with the lovely green eyes that picks up his kids the same time I pick up mine (I'm a nanny, not a mom- just so we're clear).

Things I don't like about the gym: Working out.

That Love/Hate relationship with running I talked about before is running a little thin on the "love" lately (absolutely no pun intended).  I'm tired of being sweaty, smelly and out of breath.  My attention span has been about 3 minutes lately and that does not bode well when it takes about 25 minutes just to run two miles- not to mention all the lifting, pressing and squeezing that has to come after that.

But I am begrudgingly plugging away, feeling like I'm making absolutely no headway- numbers wise.  But, in an effort of full disclosure, I would like to publicly announce that I do believe my booty is shrinking.  Huzzah!

I've been thinking about the cheer uniform gag I've been yammering on about.  I'd hate to think anyone was taking me seriously when I said that.  Heh... yeah.  Honestly though, that may happen someday; but for now I'd like to make a smaller yet measurable goal for you all follow along with.  And here it is:

This summer I will be throwing myself a birthday party.  I'm partially telling you this so you'll come.  The last time I threw myself a big birthday party nearly no one came- it was my Sweet Sixteen by the way.  But this isn't about old high school scars.  There will be a theme and it will be fan-freakin-tastic. What that theme will be is yet to be seen: but I bought a dress at the Buffalo Exchange for ten dollars and I'm going to wear it damn it.  Only problem is that it's a bit snug around the everywhere region.  So the goal is to fit into that dress by July 26th or thereabouts.  And you can all come, bring me presents and tell me how great I look.  Sounds like a fabulous birthday to me!

Grace Has Amazing Hands To Hold You, Genevieve

Ever since I was a child I can remember singing and playing in church. It's been a God send for me. When applying for college came around senior year I was dead set on biology. My big brother was studying it, so of course it appealed to me. I remember one night at the dinner table, my mom said, "Ya know Gen, have you ever considered music?" I thought to myself... NO, music isn't a job. And then she continued to coax me... "Outside of your school work that's all you do." And she was right, I was in musicals, choral, show choir and played in the worship band at church. So, I finally gave in and started to think about the possibilites. I applied for the music in worship program at Biola University in Los Angeles and got in. It wouldn't have happened without the encouragement of my family and mentors in music at the time.

Freshman year was a series of ups and downs and ultimately I decided that I wanted to study music, but not in the facet of worship. It was a great hobby and service to the church, but I didn't see myself having it as a vocation. I transferred to CU Denver and finished my college career in vocal performance and music business. But during that time, I lost who I was before. Connecting in church became a battle and I started to define myself in the secular world of music. It wasn't until I graduated that I realzied how much I missed worship. It was this enormous part of my life for 5 years that I somehow lost and it was heart breaking. When I finally found an amazing church that I could call home, Scum of the Earth, God kept knocking on the door of my heart. It took several months of nail bitng on my part to eventually walk up to one of the worship leaders and ask for an application.

And with that, the doors flew wide open. I started playing and then before I knew it our head pastor was asking me out for breakfast. He, with genuine care, asked me to come on board as a worship leader. It has been one fo the biggest joys in my life for the past year. I can be having the worst week and sit down to pray about the songs for our service and it's as if God is placing His hand over me and saying, "Just worship".

I've gotten back in touch with my roots and even have played some songs that meant a lot to me in high school. Many of those songs were written by Jason Stocker, the worship leader at my church growing up. His gift for worship has been one of the inspirations I've held on to throughout the years. Every once and a while I'll go to his church out in Arvada just to listen. I went this last week. We chatted after the service and it was such a blessing to be able to talk with him. I thanked him for all of his amazing songs and the inspiration that they have had on our congregation. He was truly touched and that's what makes him such an amazing person.

I suggested we play worship together soon and he was very excited at the idea. I mentioned this to Mike, my pastor, just yesterday and he said to go for it! I'm currently working on dates and concepts and love the fact that I'm blessed and able to have worship in my every day life. My prayer is to have this continue to be a genuine expression of my thanks and love to God.

Jackie - Checkin' Out the Big City

I don't have anything profound to say this week. [Surprising, I know!]

School has me insanely busy right now. I'm in two ensembles, therefore two concerts this month; plus, this semester is my sophomore proficiency and on top of trying to get myself ready for that vocally, I'm also trying to learn the piano so that I can accompany myself. So I was thinking, it mighty be good to have a couple informal concerts before the big day to run through my music and get more comfortable performing it in front of people. If you're interested in coming to listen let me know so I can tell you when they'll be happening!

Here's what I've gotten done this week.

Goal 1:: Teach
I contacted a friend of mine who teaches piano and is quite good at it. Hopefully we can get together soon so I can get some pointers since my first student is interested in playing piano. I plan on talking to another friend of mine also who is a music teacher to get her insights.

Goal 3:: Reconnect
Who should I get together with this month... ?

Goal 6:: Redefine spirituality
I decided to put this one on hold until the summer. I'm pretty occupied finishing the semester and thought this deserved more attention than I can give at the moment.

Goal 7:: Be frugal.
Two words: tax return. That's right, folks, since I'm still in school I got a pretty nice tax return. Also, I've been good at keeping my spending to a bare minimum and was able to put a few more Benjamins toward the effort. I did break my no-paying-for-parking rule a couple times ... *sigh*

Goal 5:: Take 2 of 4 Trips
This goal has me most excited. I've been looking at plane tickets almost non-stop and had something almost definite planned... until the ticket price tripled. Ugh.

I'm thinking about taking a road trip with my roommate to Dallas later in May, but no details have been confirmed, so don't quote me on that just yet.

The big news is this: NEW YORK CITY IN NOVEMBER! I am unbelievably excited. My friend Joe, in Nashville, is turning 30 and wants to do it right, so he and Leah are getting the crew together to go rock the big city! I told them to count me in no matter what. Seriously, people, I have wanted to visit New York City since I can remember and I am excited beyond words. Every time I watch How I Met Your Mother [which happens to be my favorite tv show so I watch it a lot] I dream about visiting and now I get the chance! 

*If you were sitting next to me you'd see me jittering like an excited little school girl.*

BUT wait, there's more! Not only do I get the city... and Joe and Leah, but I get to see Marcus, too! It's like a trifecta of big city goodness.

I might explode of excitedness.

*Deep breaths, Jackie. It's not for 7 months.*

Sarah is Trying to Remain Calm

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You may have noticed (but you probably didn't) that I had a goal of trying to figure out God and my relationship with him.  About a week after posting it, I took it off.  I just didn't feel ready to share it with the masses.  I don't like to talk about my spirituality all that much.  I don't like to shout about it, anyway.  But last night at church, something started to make sense and I feel like I should share.

We had eaten our meal together, Mike had spoken his Easter words, and the "Scum choir" was on stage singing.  I sat in quiet meditation and started thinking about how afraid I've been lately.  A lot of things feel like they're coming to a head before I'm ready for them.  I've been scared for my job, scared about all the homework I have yet to accomplish, scared of not using my gifts the way I ought to, and scared of some of these goals I've set for myself; namely the goals relating to Haiti. 

I've said it several times on here: I'm not a finisher.  I don't follow through on things that I start and it seems like a lot of times it's because things just don't go my way.  I have big ideas, try to carry them out and somewhere along the line they start to fall apart and I give up.  I am terrified that this Haiti idea is going to follow the same pattern.  And Haiti means too much to me to have it slip through my fingers.

My gentle meditation started to turn into a silent anxiety attack:  I can't go to Haiti alone!  What am I going to contribute there?  What if they don't want me?  What if I don't get this internship, learn nothing about journal therapy and end up being too lazy to try to learn Creole this Summer?  I am terrified I'm going to fail at this.  

And as the room started to close in on me and I forgot how to breathe, I realized something: Fear is not wrong.  And if Jesus was afraid the night before he died, I can be afraid too.  Sitting in my chair as the band played on in front me and voices in the crowd rose up around me, I closed my eyes, clasped my hands and silently recognized my fear.  

Afterwards, Ben Mercer (our missions guy) stopped me and asked about my plans for Haiti.  I told him, hesitantly, a little bit about what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it.  He responded by saying that Scum supported me and if I wanted to get a group together that'd be great, and also he'd like to come along too if possible.  Ben has volunteered with Art from Ashes and has great experience with art therapy.  The fear started to slowly trickle away and I felt like my admission of fear had been answered with support.

I won't attempt to go any deeper into the spiritual stuff.  It's too big of a topic to get into- for this year any way.  Last night though, it seemed too relevant to ignore.